Wijnand de Jong (43)
Wijnand is an Amsterdam based social psychologist. He’s a lecturer in applied psychology, an inspired career counselor and an experienced trainer in developing social skills.
As a web designer I cooperate with a copy writer. She’s good at her job, but when a client is over for project evaluation, she’s always dominating me in conversations. She’s the first to ask, the first to suggest. Afterwards I start questioning myself: how could I let this happen again? What do you think: should I try to change it or try to accept it?
You might be afraid
I think you know you can’t accept the situation. And I think you might be afraid of two confrontations: one with the copy writer if you would give her feedback and one with yourself, knowing that it takes new behaviour from your side to turns things around.
Regarding giving feedback to the copywriter and getting feedback from her, the infographic on the Johari Window might me insightful for you.
For the second confrontation of adjusting your behaviour to be more effective in those conversations, I’d like to advice you looking into your core quadrant.
Core quadrant: simple, inspiring and practical
This quadrant is simple, inspiring and practical. In your case, being a modest listener is one of your qualities. But if you rely on that quality too much it’s not effective anymore: you become invisible. Your copy writer is doing something you just can’t stand: she’s too present and too dominant. And my best guess is that exactly this – being present and dominant – is a challenge for you. Something you should develop and secretly admire in others.
Use your qualities
The core quadrant suggests to know and use qualities you already have and combine them with your challenges, as qualities you can develop. Maximal impact is in using both of these qualities, instead of picking one, and becoming: a present listener, modestly profiling your views and interests.
In other words, embrace the things that really annoy you in others. They tell you about your own core qualities and about your challenges. They show you the way to being even more outstanding as a female entrepreneur.